[ Again, huh? It's true that Ainosuke often feels like an exposed wire, but he used to be better at hiding it. Here, in a world totally beyond his previous experiences, it seems obvious to too many of the people around him. Riddling them in bitemarks is a good way to gain temporary reprieve and feel in control, but in the long run-- This is all getting away from him, and he is slipping. Alarming.
But he'll sit with Nishi anyway, eyebrow playfully raised. ]
Now, it's true I don't do things by half-measures... but getting blackout drunk is not my idea of a good time.
[Blackout drunk? A man wound as tightly as Ainosuke? Nishi doubts he'd ever permit himself that kind of indulgence in front of anyone, if at all. He isn't the type to surrender control so completely, not when he's so stringent about keeping others in line... something Nishi could have guessed at, even if he didn't already know it firsthand. But half-measures? Just as unlikely. Another thread they share, though that begs the larger question—]
Mm. Then we'll strike moderation from the equation.
[As men like them always do, spurning the middle ground outright. He props an elbow on the counter, regarding Ainosuke through the reflection in his wine glass, his visage doused in red.]
But if you're not here to drink yourself into a stupor... what are you here for?
[Did you come here to laugh at him, Ainosuke? He lets the question hang, equal parts invitation and accusation.]
Has anyone ever told you that you're quite the demanding man?
[ Punctuality, efficiency, answers... Ainosuke considers himself very much a giver, but he doesn't like being probed into. His smile is lopsided as he fills a glass with wine for himself. ]
Is it so hard to believe that I would simply desire a drink and some company?
[ It probably is. He takes a sip. ]
I hope you weren't too put out by all that was revealed of you today.
[Nishi laughs, a brief hah betraying clear amusement. Yes, he's heard that once or twice during his time here, and perhaps many more times than he can now recall.
For what it's worth, it's true: Nishi demands much and gives little in return. In this, the two of them could not be more opposite. Call him a black hole into which love is thrown and seldom given in return.
He idly tilts his glass, melting ice diluting the remnants of his drink.]
I'll admit, I could have conducted myself better.
[Has he always been so prone to outbursts? Surely he built his defenses more carefully than this... though it's hard to imagine he was ever the sort of man who could be entirely numb to emotion, acknowledging it but ignoring its pull.]
I'd imagine you found it amusing.
[He offers the remark without presumption, leaving space for Ainosuke to confirm or deny, latent risk present in either option.]
[ Ainosuke hums, an acknowledgement and agreement before he decides which words to put to it. ]
Seeing my handiwork so proudly displayed was a thrill, I'll admit it.
[ How beautiful Nishi looked like that... Normally, he'd have taken more care to prevent the extent of the rope burns, used better materials, but they're not in a position to ask for perfect equipment with sex toys. Even the availability of condoms feels... pretty precarious. ]
[ But then his expression falls again. He'd hated having even Nishi's small transgression revealed to the public without intention. The only reason he feels he escaped extensive scrutiny here is that Nishi and Solomon were so much more excessive, but that escape is narrow.
And while he's not the most empathetic person in the world... ]
I would have been kinder to you, had I known we'd be laid bare for Father and all to see. Some secrets should remain between lovers, no?
[—That's the part that he found amusing? Nishi is nearly shocked. Ainosuke has all the hallmarks of a sex fiend, deranged and perverse, but that borders on sadism.
And it makes him laugh.
When did his glass run dry? He nudges it in Ainosuke's direction, grin tucked slyly behind the mask. Friendly? Rude? Something else altogether? He'll let the other man be the judge.]
I doubt I could stomach your brand of "love" for long. It reeks of performance— hardly what I'd call authentic.
[ Ainosuke is already half-way in the motion of refilling Nishi's glass for him when he finishes his sentence and gives him full body pause, bottle hanging in the air for a moment without pouring yet.
Performance, huh? ]
Is that what it felt like to you?
[ His expression is unreadable, but he does return to pouring the wine and returns the glass to Nishi. ]
[Is it worse that Nishi is being honest with him? He's not being petty or vengeful, merely saying it as it is. He has infinitely more to gain from being pointed with this man, his words a steady razor against his throat.]
Correct. If you believe love is something you can dole out on command... I'm afraid you've been sorely mistaken.
[Love chooses you, not the other way around. Taking up his glass, Nishi takes a measured sip.]
But what is it you've mistaken for love, exactly? Now that, I'd like to know.
[ Ah... It stings. It stings even though it shouldn't, because it's true that their tryst wasn't based on infatuation but rather on practicality, a mutual way of escaping something far far more unpleasant. But even then, to have his love denied is unpleasant.
Ainosuke takes a sip from his glass, lips in a thin smile. ]
For you? I wonder. It's a fact that we chose one another for convenience and relief, but that doesn't mean I felt nothing about it, my dear... Every bite, every touch, every kiss... I'm not dishonest in all affections, and it saddens me to hear you think so.
Love is a curious thing, fleeting, hard to escape and hard to hold onto, isn't it?
[...The man looks genuinely dissatisfied with his judgment. Nishi suspected he might, but it leaves the greater question lingering— if it wasn't love, elusive and inescapable, then what was it Ainosuke showed him?
He takes a sip from his glass, barely tasting it, thoughts elsewhere.]
That much is true, but that's why I can't call what you showed me love. If you want my honest appraisal... your "love" felt curiously hollow. I could speculate as to why, of course, though I doubt you'd appreciate the intrusion.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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But he'll sit with Nishi anyway, eyebrow playfully raised. ]
Now, it's true I don't do things by half-measures... but getting blackout drunk is not my idea of a good time.
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Mm. Then we'll strike moderation from the equation.
[As men like them always do, spurning the middle ground outright. He props an elbow on the counter, regarding Ainosuke through the reflection in his wine glass, his visage doused in red.]
But if you're not here to drink yourself into a stupor... what are you here for?
[Did you come here to laugh at him, Ainosuke? He lets the question hang, equal parts invitation and accusation.]
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[ Punctuality, efficiency, answers... Ainosuke considers himself very much a giver, but he doesn't like being probed into. His smile is lopsided as he fills a glass with wine for himself. ]
Is it so hard to believe that I would simply desire a drink and some company?
[ It probably is. He takes a sip. ]
I hope you weren't too put out by all that was revealed of you today.
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For what it's worth, it's true: Nishi demands much and gives little in return. In this, the two of them could not be more opposite. Call him a black hole into which love is thrown and seldom given in return.
He idly tilts his glass, melting ice diluting the remnants of his drink.]
I'll admit, I could have conducted myself better.
[Has he always been so prone to outbursts? Surely he built his defenses more carefully than this... though it's hard to imagine he was ever the sort of man who could be entirely numb to emotion, acknowledging it but ignoring its pull.]
I'd imagine you found it amusing.
[He offers the remark without presumption, leaving space for Ainosuke to confirm or deny, latent risk present in either option.]
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Seeing my handiwork so proudly displayed was a thrill, I'll admit it.
[ How beautiful Nishi looked like that... Normally, he'd have taken more care to prevent the extent of the rope burns, used better materials, but they're not in a position to ask for perfect equipment with sex toys. Even the availability of condoms feels... pretty precarious. ]
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And while he's not the most empathetic person in the world... ]
I would have been kinder to you, had I known we'd be laid bare for Father and all to see. Some secrets should remain between lovers, no?
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And it makes him laugh.
When did his glass run dry? He nudges it in Ainosuke's direction, grin tucked slyly behind the mask. Friendly? Rude? Something else altogether? He'll let the other man be the judge.]
I doubt I could stomach your brand of "love" for long. It reeks of performance— hardly what I'd call authentic.
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Performance, huh? ]
Is that what it felt like to you?
[ His expression is unreadable, but he does return to pouring the wine and returns the glass to Nishi. ]
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Correct. If you believe love is something you can dole out on command... I'm afraid you've been sorely mistaken.
[Love chooses you, not the other way around. Taking up his glass, Nishi takes a measured sip.]
But what is it you've mistaken for love, exactly? Now that, I'd like to know.
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Ainosuke takes a sip from his glass, lips in a thin smile. ]
For you? I wonder. It's a fact that we chose one another for convenience and relief, but that doesn't mean I felt nothing about it, my dear... Every bite, every touch, every kiss... I'm not dishonest in all affections, and it saddens me to hear you think so.
Love is a curious thing, fleeting, hard to escape and hard to hold onto, isn't it?
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He takes a sip from his glass, barely tasting it, thoughts elsewhere.]
That much is true, but that's why I can't call what you showed me love. If you want my honest appraisal... your "love" felt curiously hollow. I could speculate as to why, of course, though I doubt you'd appreciate the intrusion.
[Not like that would stop Nishi.]